beautifully broken.

Oh it's going to be one of those blogs.super emosexual rant. 


Here goes. 
So I'm an addict. I am in recovery. (thank God) But I am so insane still. I get it. I will be working on myself for the rest of my life. Ugh. It's weird because I came into recovery expecting to get some answers. Now I have a million more questions. I am a mess. So I work the steps, I show up at meetings, I share when shit is bothering me, and I try and help another addict achieve recovery or at least the willingness to recover. Life is hard. No fucking question about it. But we are all a little lost and I wish people would swallow their pride and destroy their ego and help their fellow man, and woman.  
And for a completely different topic that doesn't get talked about nearly enough in recovery, it's our relationships with others. Whether it's sexual, emotional, or spiritual. Other humans have the capacity to break our fragile hearts. We are addicts, so if it feels good, we are so prone to being addicted to it. There is a fine line between love and codependency. They are quite opposite but people don't think so. You want to help them, you want them to be yours forever. But let me tell you something. Nobody is OURS, we are all children of the universe. That's it. We all just want to love and be loved in return, but it has the potential to come with a very high price. Love yourself first. Be okay with you and someone super incredible will appear in your life at the perfect timing. Not your perfect timing, God's perfect timing. Trust me. or don't.