So it hit me today. I was praying to the God of my understanding, you know very casually thanking him and asking him for guidance. I figured out the plan he has for me, what I was put on this planet to do. (please don't get creeped out by my proud belief in a higher power, you'd believe too if you've been where I've been and came back from where I came back from.) I don't want to work at a ritzy California rehab.
I want to help the sick and suffering addicts who don't have money or health insurance to cover such a luxury as rehab.
I was afforded such a luxury and I absolutely believe it helped save my life, but so did my strong ass will to live. I know I couldn't have done it without my God, but I also know that TRUE recovery is not for the weak-hearted. It's a gut wrenching, soul-squeezing process, everyday. I wouldn't have it any other way!
My name is Annie and I am an addict. I believe in anonymity to a certain extent. I want to help save lives with my experience, strength and hope.
What I hope to get out of this blog is the ability to help others, to let them know there is a way out. It's not easy. It's super fucking hard, but the only way out is through. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!! I promise!! Trust me, I was in hell about 21 months ago. But I crawled out, well I was pushed out, thank God. But the rest was up to me. It had to be up to me or I wouldn't have survived this long.
Today was a super unproductive day, and I was feeling guilty about it. Then I thought to myself, I didn't have to get high today. That's a miracle. I have to remember where I came from, out the gutter I climbed. I am so lucky and blessed today. Life is meant to be lived. Everyday isn't easy, but every day alive sure is a blessing.
Good night sweet world.
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