There is no greater service work in recovery then sharing your message of experience, strength, and hope. I just got home from doing an H and I panel (hospitals and institutions) at Michael's House in Palm Springs. It was such a magical experience I wanted to write about it right away while it's still fresh. I can't describe the feeling it gives me. Oh wait, yes I can. It gives me hope, It gives me strength, and it gives me satisfaction that I hopefully helped at least one addict tonight. I am pretty sure I captivated my audience. I have one crazy story. Its no better or no worse than anyone else's "war story" but its mine, so I can tell it well.
I always pray before I share. I ask God to make me his vessel. Let him speak through me and the message that is supposed to get across will make its point. That is the whole point. The weird thing is, is that it helps my recovery soooo much! It's the 12th step in action. Its so wonderful. It also helps remind me of where I came from. I don't think about my past often since I finally forgave myself for it. It doesn't haunt me like it used to. I can use it as a tool in my recovery today. How wonderful and beautiful is that? So awesome. I've shared my story on panels before, I've done a few open talks back in Michigan, but tonight was different.
I dug up some real intense shit. I dug up old feelings, and experiences I've never shared before, not in the detail like I did tonight. So I feel like, tonight, God made me a vessel for sure, but he did it for my benefit. I had to hear my story again. I had to hear from my point of view on this day. I am changing and growing daily. He lit a fire in me tonight. A fire I haven't felt in a couple months. It reignited.
The best part after I shared my story was the comments from the audience. It was absolutely heartwarming. They could relate to all my crazy stories, and my insecure emotions. It made me feel so connected to the human race. They told me how inspirational my story was, or my story is. The most important part is the present. I climbed out of the darkness. I surrendered. I had enough pain. And while life isn't always easy or wonderful, the journey in recovery has been worth it so far.
I know I am doing God's will and he always rewards me with everything I could ever need. So full of hope and love tonight.
I always pray before I share. I ask God to make me his vessel. Let him speak through me and the message that is supposed to get across will make its point. That is the whole point. The weird thing is, is that it helps my recovery soooo much! It's the 12th step in action. Its so wonderful. It also helps remind me of where I came from. I don't think about my past often since I finally forgave myself for it. It doesn't haunt me like it used to. I can use it as a tool in my recovery today. How wonderful and beautiful is that? So awesome. I've shared my story on panels before, I've done a few open talks back in Michigan, but tonight was different.
I dug up some real intense shit. I dug up old feelings, and experiences I've never shared before, not in the detail like I did tonight. So I feel like, tonight, God made me a vessel for sure, but he did it for my benefit. I had to hear my story again. I had to hear from my point of view on this day. I am changing and growing daily. He lit a fire in me tonight. A fire I haven't felt in a couple months. It reignited.
The best part after I shared my story was the comments from the audience. It was absolutely heartwarming. They could relate to all my crazy stories, and my insecure emotions. It made me feel so connected to the human race. They told me how inspirational my story was, or my story is. The most important part is the present. I climbed out of the darkness. I surrendered. I had enough pain. And while life isn't always easy or wonderful, the journey in recovery has been worth it so far.
I know I am doing God's will and he always rewards me with everything I could ever need. So full of hope and love tonight.
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